I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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