im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You made out with two different species that night
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
