I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
