thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize