absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
