i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
