I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
