M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
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she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
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OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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