One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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