last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
