My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
