My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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