walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
