the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize