If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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