party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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