@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
that is very illegal...i love you.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
