No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
