I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We are all done wearing pants today
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
