Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
