New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
