Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
