Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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