woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
