Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
