Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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