ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
