I wanna bring you to show and tell
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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