I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
