I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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