WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
