Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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