you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
