i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
