You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
