i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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