she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
