his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
