Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
