we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize