My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
