so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
