Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
