It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Randomize
