i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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