Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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