I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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