I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
