Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
