What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
