Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
