Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
