dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
