I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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