im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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