I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
