You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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