dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
His hands were made for my vagina.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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