Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
