LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
operation have a gay friend backfired
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
