You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
