i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We had to coat check the pizza.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
