so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize