That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
