You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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