: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Randomize
