I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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