we're chasing vodka with high fives
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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