What a fucking waste of an outfit
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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